Irene & Loneliness...
We've actually been quite the pair lately. It sounds super sad and semi-pathetic and almost wants to make you call me and keep me company on the phone, right? (Maybe I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt). :)
Transitioning to a new place is HARD when you're in ministry and when for the past about 5 years of your life, you've had INCREDIBLE community. You get used to living intentionally, eating with folks everyday, welcoming people into your home, having deep and honest conversations about everything and then one day it can just stop cold turkey. Just telling you out there in case you haven't experienced it yet or in case no one told you. :)
It's been quite the shock actually and everyone else thinks I'm handling it well, but I'm not quite sure I am. I mean, I own NO FURNITURE right now... like, I have a bed frame but no mattress. Thankfully, someone let me borrow an air mattress or I'd still be sleeping on the carpet with my comforter. Also included in the "no furniture" category is "no TV, no internet at home, and no CD player." Aigo.
So I thought I'd list things that my life consists of now/lessons I'm learning for humor's sake:
1. I eat on the carpet/floor, lunch and dinner. I guess it's good I cook at home now. Saves $$ and I swear I'm losing weight just b/c of it.
2. Every bit of hospitality from anyone is a HUGE moment of gratitude for me. Like that air mattress I sleep on, THANK GOD for air mattresses & for people who let you borrow them temporarily until you can buy your own bed! :) And that one dude who walked past you and said HI... THANK YOU!
3. Writing sermons to preach every week is hard. Especially when there's not really anyone to process it with and you don't have experiences or interact with enough folks to have new stories... gotta make them up! j/k...sorta...
4. When you're a pastor, you're ALWAYS a pastor. No matter where you go. I ran into someone from the congregation who works at the post office when I was picking up boxes!
5. Taking walks alone can be all right.
6. I seriously don't understand Korean very well. Especially sermons. (I attend Wed. night worship services that are all in Korean to try to connect with the Korean congregation. I feel like an idiot).
7. You still have to be a pastor even when you don't feel like being one. Personal stuff has to be set aside and you have to keep serving. Yes folks, I'm only beginning week 3.
8. Eating alone sucks.
9. I go to bed early and wake up early. So weird.
10. God is still good to me.
Anyway, this is totally a boring post, but my life aside from work...which is going all right actually... is boring.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Dear Irene,
I hope before this time next week you are feeling less lonely and more like you "fit" where you are. I suspect that your support network is much larger than you think (or at least as you were thinking yesterday). I hope you are able to see more and more the blessings and gifts that have been bestoyed upon you.
It is true that great responsibility comes with ministering but out of that comes great joy for you are able to touch others and make a difference where most of us fall short.
May you find yourself filled with peace and joy more and more in the coming days.
Take care.
Love,
Jayne
Shout out to Irene,
I think it's always difficult to transition into a new role. While we might think we're revoluntionaries, change usually sucks hard core while it's going on, but is pretty awesome once you're though it. Here my survival tips for living alone:
make very important appointements to get you out of the house ie. it's 2pm on Saturday, I need to be at the bookstore, figuring out which books to check out of the library this week.
go with the camping theme. for about a month I had for utinsils and one pot, all of which were giving to me by other people. But you're scavaging, like in the olden-timey days.
reach out to freak out. preferably to someone who's reaction won't be that's it. you're coming home. enough is enough.
love!
jen
Hey Irene.
You may be alone physically but you are so far from alone mentally. I know I think of you at least once a day and I'm sure most people you know do too.
Much Love,
Me
Post a Comment